Why?
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
Patron_of_lust's LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
| Wednesday, December 28th, 2005 | | 5:05 pm |
This Wrong was Always the Right One
There's a smile on your face. There's a home for me in that distant place. There's something missing when you smile. It's an emptiness inside me gone a while, now. I feel so free. I can breathe a hundred deep breaths. I can look at myself into my depths And smile at what I understand To be what I never thought I had. I am alive. There's a future in the midst of despair. How could this be? I thought life was so unfair. There's a quiet thing talking to me There's a thing inside you I can see. And now I know. Emptiness and treachery They've stolen me, so long it seems. Death wished on a heart long lost Now I'm home and I can foster it. I'm cured of this. I'm filled with joy and I can go Anywhere and won't be alone. It's a simple thing I've come across She's safe with me because I'm not lost with her. Close my eyes, I believe. It seemed so wrong, but it's all alright It seemed so long, but not tonight Every time she smiles again Is the only who, how, why, or when. Nothing else matters. | | Friday, December 9th, 2005 | | 7:39 pm |
HELL HELL HELL HELL HELLO
Let's tell this story. I'm hell on wheels. I have no motivation to cry for you. I'm a darkness field. I'm the eternal damnation and I am calling your name. The smile of an angel cannot save your dear sister. Your brother cannot be her shining saviour. I am the hellfire. I am your very last breath. A cold winter's night may provide no haven from my stare. A hair's breadth of moonlight is all I need to impare. Fight me. You dare to challenge the empire itself? Foolish mortal, you walk upon my earth. It is by my will that you breathe now air and not dirt. If you would follow me unto death your life is waste and ash. If you shant follow me your heart will bleed a nothingness. As you choose, you may choose poorly, quieted innocent. Destitute is my home and such I must return in your dire times. So long, for my time is through, until dawn I am your final good-bye simply because I know you. | | Thursday, November 17th, 2005 | | 8:12 pm |
Freewrite(Title?)
Every dream, in a certain light, Tells you a story, good or bad. Every scream, on a certain night, Reminds us of the troubles you have had. All of me, in a certain light Is cast aside into the shadows All of thee, on a certain night, Is home, alone, in heartless meadows. After dawn, in a certain light, There is beauty on which to reminisce. In the morn', after a certain night, There is everything and nothing to miss. | | Friday, July 15th, 2005 | | 11:55 pm |
...
I said fuck this smile the day it walked away I cried for a while and followed it anyway Look where I am now. I'm stuck in a house Follow me in, now. I've lit a flame simply to douse. now that I'm done writing... All I want to feel right now is I'd show a smile but I'm too weak. I'd share with you could I only speak just how much this hurts me, just how much you hurt me. To give an explanation if any of you don't know exactly what that AFI lyric quote means(specifically to me) I will be using the 1st person, and talking to the person this is all directed at... if that doesn't work for you, Stop fucking reading, now. I'd show a smile but I'm too weak. Every time you talk about that guy and every time you smile about him or tell me what a great time you're having or what a cool guy he is... I would smile to try and convince you I was happy for you... I am somewhat glad that you're happy, but it is at the cost of my own heart that it has happened.... All of this has drained me so... I go to smile for you, but I am too weak... I hope your world is still ok. I'd share with you could I only speak: just how much this hurts me, just how much you hurt me. I'd tell you how much this hurts, and how much I ache inside. The fact that on some level I feel like you caused this pain whether or not that is true... I would tell you exactly how much it hurt, how much it strips at my soul to see you walk away... but I can't even talk... the words drown in my thoughts... and then I see how much it frightens you to be hurting me in all of this, and any strength I had mustered to be able to tell you all of this... I gently toss aside, because I can't make you question your life no matter what you've done to me I love you, I don't know if I'll ever be able to completely let it go... but as a good friend of mine put it... "You won't forget it, you'll leave it behind." Current Mood: Life is my apocalypseCurrent Music: I don't even know | | Sunday, June 26th, 2005 | | 2:37 am |
You Taught Me I Can Win
Will you push me into sunshine While I scream and tell you no? Will you force me to calm my mind While I tell you you should go? Will you make me be the best While I sit and try to fail? Will you help me with my test While I pretend to chase my tail? Will you tell me that you love me While I tell you that you're crazy? Will you be there to simply nudge me While I'd rather just be lazy? Will you be the one to smile And make me form a grin? You know something? I love you. You taught me I can win. | | Wednesday, June 8th, 2005 | | 10:58 pm |
The Taste of Mind
I'm the engineer of phantoms The destructor of disgrace I bleed pain through every atom And sweet hatred lines my taste I fight for an ultimatum To follow with the swine I'm right, but why I hate them Tastes of bitter wine The cardboard skull of flyers The apple's rotten brown Convicting hope, the liar - A purely upturned frown. I denounce the tears of blood That beauty's eyes secrete Though, thus, I adore the flood Of life's fluid o'er my feet. Born to wistfully walk away I feed the distance with intestine Delightful reveries taste the same And now I wash in so-called "sin." | | Saturday, May 28th, 2005 | | 8:54 pm |
Freewrite. Bitches.
I came along and brought my faith. Now, placed upon a pedistal The faith was cursed with divine rape. Watch as now blood, red is still. Take the fear away it haunts me in my dreams Take the shining day His name will havoc wreak Divulge in anger feastful fury Taste the danger. Vision's blurry Look upon a lampshade's light Giving off, yet still he fights Brightening a broken heart Broken still, a broken thwart At plans of natures well unknown Creases four in number, grown. Distill a battle, cold unformed Will it handle whores' unborn? Bold misplacement of a fire Hasten The Fall's empire. Foster inspiration for the day Wait for patience. Wait away. Disgust for creases In thine brow Wasteful leeches become your gown Of entire mistrust for pollution unknown A tire's bust. Burst dillusion of a home. Must the blameless still continue? Brush the hatered in every sinew. Instigate forgotten love Be the way you want it rough. Fail to know your end is near This perfect rhythm's hellish peer Wrought upon a breathing grave Defying hunger and die the brave. Folding into morons peaceful and insane Squeezing pushing war on, lethal of the brain. Ending, twisting, whirling, smoking. Bending, listening, hurling, choking. Faithlessness in entirety Goodnight to windows tiredly. Goodnight. Current Mood: artisticCurrent Music: KMFDM - Symbols: Stray Bullet | | Wednesday, May 25th, 2005 | | 8:00 pm |
They
Destiny and anger, prophetic analogies. Quiet, morphing angels. I am this mentality. Blue, green, red, and then brown. Fearful in all colors, smile or frown. Distant, tasteful, and deceptive. Risky, wasteful with perspective. Danger has no mortal home. It will harm or let alone. Bullies, cowards, malcontent. Dead or alive, dreams still bend. Breathing breaths that none can handle. Darkness to which none hold a candle. Absolute believing systems. Flawless, yet, there is no rhythm. Flow without a kink or knot. Blown without the wind distraught. Leap of faith into your heart. Take a look at your God's start. See if it tells you what you want. Your religion, be what you're not. They apologize and cry. They think, think, think. They tell you you're no good 'cause you're a meek, weak link. Cry alone, as far as they know. You're nothing to them but a brainless show. | | Monday, May 16th, 2005 | | 7:30 pm |
A Reflection
He's standing up straight With a slouch in his eyes. There's a love that must wait Behind his smile's disguise. He's walking proud, Such a pure modesty. He's talking too loud. Pride's just a commodity. He hides under curtains. He hates his own features. He would not be a burden To such joyful creatures. He never stops waiting. For what, he can't say Because he is hating That he must say it one day. His eyes get so red. I don't like what I see. I look into his head. He looks just like me. | | Saturday, May 7th, 2005 | | 10:55 pm |
Unfinished
Disgust is a blur. I am the taste of angel's revenge. Rust is a word. Oh, how it fits my eyes, turned so red. Vision is dull. You see once or twice and you have no more smiles. Derision is full. There is always enough and it lasts for a while. Blue is my name. Defined are my features, with that tint of that color. To lose is my game. Refined are these creatures of whom I am a brother. Feast your own flesh. What a wonderful line. Least you get left. What a wonderful crime. Organize and disperse. To choose could be grand. Realize and immerse, should you extend me thine hand. For a perfect shame. Cry and be so cried upon. To find she whom you blame. Sigh and make no lies forward, on. 'Tis a world; so I'm told. I shall live once to grow old. Falling in darkness. You bleed once again. Adventures embarking. Nobly leaving the den. As the sky, I would rain and be such as is now. As we fly, I would strain not to think of how. Duty is clean. It calls its soldiers evermore. A god becomes green, frightened, jealous. Nothing older's ever born. Fray a wound clean. What could cure like an unbroken knife. Cage a moon's scream. What is sure like the howl of lost strife? Envenom your mind. Should you resist, it lasts longer. Your heart, let it bind. You are not dead, only stronger. Send hope a message. It could still be around. Seven thieves are arrested. Six more than were found. Rape is imminent. If we fall, there will be no elector. Our life is impotent. We must find what is there for us after. | | Wednesday, May 4th, 2005 | | 9:51 pm |
The Answers
I fell in love with the rain. I walked in it until raindrops meant pain. I held on to every drop 'til it made me scream. I held on until my life became my dreams. I wished for the magic to be all but undone. I wished for my heart to forget all but one. Every questioned answered I never could ask. Every death enhanced by despising the past. The dried leaves breathed a final attempt; The summer of autumn, winter fall's contempt. Such an eerie silence; t'would be heard by no ears, But to see such a voice being spoken spawns fears. I write on my hand all the world's misgivings. I save them with scars and blame the living. I had the answer to the last question I heard. It apparates between the wings of each bird. Left to be unspoken, Apology everlasting. Left to be choking, Now I'm dead and I'm happy Or that's what I say to keep myself laughing. Current Mood: artisticCurrent Music: WWIII: Be all that you can be! | | Saturday, April 30th, 2005 | | 5:48 pm |
The Broken Break Me
I am nowhere to be found. The tears I've cried have made no sound. I've nowhere to exist. The house I'm in gone in a mist. There can be no explanation No necessity for resuscitation. Fallen stars, disgusted dreams. They were once such happy things. Light hastens to fade near engulfing dark Blood's wasting away near an angry heart. I'm wasting away. I have no fear. I've lost you now. Why can't I see your cheer? Every broken smile you fake for me Tells me every while it's worth to you to be But I see through the emptiness, Your broken heart. Why can't I just mend it for you? Sailing over an ocean's past. The water runs away. Hungry rivers are starving him, draw out desire like a blade. Every sense that is known to me tells me you grow weak. Every time you wish you'd die I feel null and bleak. Nothing can fool me. I feel you too strongly, now. Nothing can steer me. I follow you, even now. Nothing distracts me. The center of my attention's world. Nothing breaks me like knowing you're an unhappy girl. Nothing, nothing at all. There's nothing for me at all to say. Nothing, nothing at all. It's always time. But you are too far away. I'm sorry, my dear, for disappointment. I'm sorry, angel, that my hugs are pointless. I'm sorry, my love, that you will die. I'm sorry, my joy, I can't hold you tonight. | | Thursday, April 28th, 2005 | | 4:17 pm |
| | Sunday, April 24th, 2005 | | 11:32 pm |
| | Monday, April 18th, 2005 | | 8:38 pm |
Robert Frost Poem
Whose woods these are I think I know. His house is in the village, though; He will not see me stopping here To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little horse must think it queer To stop without a farmhouse near Between the woods and frozen lake The darkest evening of the year. He gives his harness bells a shake To ask if there is some mistake. The only other sound's the sweep Of easy wind and downy flake. The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep." ~ Robert Frost | | Thursday, April 7th, 2005 | | 8:09 pm |
Honor, Patience, Truth, Pain for a Love of You
I hope that you feel free, The tires spin when you turn the key. I hope for something more Anything that I can search for. Breathing deeply now, I relax my grip, pound by pound. I'll love you always still, But just being in your life, I'll find the will. There may be a way So long as I do more than pray. We may touch one year Never to let go or let flow the tears. I was convinced I would let go I said, the pain, there would be no more. My lies whispered. My heart would love you not. Then, your smile and I relearned, my love retaught. Perfection in your eyes, In jealousy, Gods despise. When they abandon you I hold you and speak what's true. Have I a perfect lass. In her heart, perfect class. Beauty understates Your mind, your soul, your perfect face. Your song, I end it now. "So long," impending now. But hold you still, until your heart grows strong. Forever, still, it is my honor to hold you so long. | | Sunday, April 3rd, 2005 | | 12:21 am |
The Surprise Buttsecks Ninja
What's gonna happen next? Who's here, over there? Sit down! Find a chair! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS NINJA! Just when you think Everything is alright, Just when you blink, You hear a mighty cry! You think,"Oh, no The boogeyman!" But, what? Oh, no, 'Cause away he ran! You realize now, An awful pain! You scream "OW! Your butt was mamed! What's gonna happen next? Who's here, over there? Sit down! Find a chair! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS NINJA! Creepy, creepy sound - Oh my! Hidden in the crowd - But why? Quick, quick! Run home! Tell everyone, the Church in Rome! Find a phone! Call your friends! Come on, now! Before it ends! You'll be in danger! It's the park ranger! Don't bend over! Don't take brochures! It's not fabrication! Hope for lubrication! What's gonna happen next? Who's here, over there? Sit down! Find a chair! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS NINJA! I bet you think its okay! The jokes on you anyway! One day, you will be caught! (I think he's a bit distraught.) You'll bend down, Pick up your gum. He'll go to town On your Bum! Run, hide, flee flee! If you see him, scream scream! No one knows he can't be seen. Ha ha! You think this is a dream! What's gonna happen next? Who's here, over there? Sit down! Find a chair! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS NINJA! No one can run from him.(Surprise) No one can hide from him. (Buttsecks) No matter how fast or far. (Ninja) You're MINE! SURPRISE BUTTSECKS NINJA! Current Mood: content, Carrie, yeahCurrent Music: WTF you think, nukka | | Monday, March 28th, 2005 | | 6:56 pm |
Trails of Blind Vision
Fateful dawn. No heart to scorn. An empty sun, There is no warmth. No bullets slowing. Thoughts are pounding No progress showing. Hearts dismounting. Feeble beauty, Nothing torn. Feeble beauty, Nothing more. Tasteful vengeance, Discarded love Hating, then dead. The scar is enough. Power of misery, Fools of lust Use it for bickering To harbor disgust. Leaves of brown In heat of fall Sifting now, Born to crawl. Leaving trails, Crumbs unnoticed Followed blindly Trampled, hopeless. Current Mood: OkayCurrent Music: Okay | | 1:35 pm |
Quiz
This wasn't very correct Your dating personality profile:
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.
Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously. | Your date match profile:
Conservative - Forget liberals, you need a conservative match. Political discussions interest you, and a conservative will offer the viewpoint you need.
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If her jokes make you laugh, she has won your heart. | Your Top Ten Traits
1. Liberal
2. Athletic
3. Funny
4. Sensual
5. Outgoing
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Big-Hearted
8. Traditional
9. Intellectual
10. Adventurous
| Your Top Ten Match Traits
1. Conservative
2. Practical
3. Funny
4. Intellectual
5. Athletic
6. Traditional
7. Shy
8. Adventurous
9. Wealthy/Ambitious
10. Big-Hearted
|
Take the Dating Personality Quiz - Get Dating Advice | | Sunday, March 20th, 2005 | | 9:18 pm |
Tell Me
Tell me what it's like to never have to cry. Tell me what it's like to want not to die. Tell me how it feels to be content. Tell me how it feels to have no regrets. Tell me, now. How does it feel? Tell me, now. Is this my last meal? Tell me, now. I'll cry away. Tell me, now. Where is the pain? Tell me, now, if I could ever breathe Without stumbling, seeing you leave. Tell me, now. Are you alright? Tell me, now. Do I have to fight? Tell me if I will ever have a daughter. Tell me if my heart will falter. Tell me. Will I raise her well? Tell me. How long since hell? Tell me, now. How does it feel? Tell me, now. Is this my last meal? Tell me, now. I'll cry away. Tell me, now. Where is the pain? Tell me, now, where heaven is. Beside your arms, any of this. Tell me who I'm falling for. Is it an angel or an empty door? Tell me where my faith lies Tell me when to be nice. Tell me why you are so perfect. Tell me. What are you worse than? Tell me, now. How does it feel? Tell me, now. Is this my last meal? Tell me, now. I'll cry away. Tell me, now. Where is the pain? Tell me where the angels go. Tell me what I'll never know. Tell me how far you see. Tell me if that includes me. Tell me anything. Tell me everything. Tell me all your heart. Tell me anything but,"No." Current Mood: HELL NO. whateverCurrent Music: Dare you to move. |
[ << Previous 20 ]
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
patron_of_lust's journal